Fw: Time-distinctions
- Subject: Fw: Time-distinctions
- From: "Jan Willem Nicolay" <nicolay@noord.bart.nl>
- Date: Mon, 23 Sep 1996 22:08:16 +0200
- 20: 03:00 GMT
----------
> From: Jan Willem Nicolay <nicolay@noord.bart.nl>
> Newsgroups: alt.psychology.nlp
> Subject: Re: Time-distinctions
> Date: maandag 23 september 1996 22:00
>
> lidyohof@noord.bart.nl (Lidy Oosterhof) wrote:
>
>
>
> >Hello to all,
>
> >Decisions are made on conscious and unconscious levels, and even the
> >ones whe make consciously go unconsciously fast! Although this process
> >goes very quickly, it has a longlasting effect on our lives, what we
> >do or don’t do and the quality of our experiences. But then again
> >that’s how our brain works, lot’s of times (take for instance the
> >process of learning a fobic reaction). This impact is one good reason
> >to learn all about peoples deciscionmaking-strategies and all the
> >various elements it includes.
>
> >Recently, I saw a videotape of Bandler where he is discussing these
> >things. He mentioned the relation between decision-strategies and
> >different kinds of time and time-activities. For instance, there are
> >In-time activities, Between-time activities and Through-time
> >activities, depending on the nature of the event as well as the
> >orientation in time while doing them. If I understood it correctly, an
> >in-time activity is one in which you’re completely there in the
> >present, not thinking about it, no expectations or goals, just living
> >the experience. For example when you have sex (Hopefully you’re
> >in-time and fully associated when you’re doing it, instead of looking
> >at yourself from a distance or comparing it with how it should be,
> >you’ll miss all the fun!).
> >This last comment points out that some events seem by definition and
> >nature in-time, between-time or through-time but that does not mean
> >that all people do it that way!
>
> >An between-time activity is one you do now and then and think and
> >decide over ahead of time, like buying a car or planning a vacation.
> >These events are compared with...., planned over...., analysed...,
> >filled with expectations and thought over...... That is, you
> >dissociate yourself from it on another level (helicopter-view) with
> >links in the past and/or future. So if you’re planning on buying
> >something and you’re focus and decision-strategy is between-time, you
> >may think about or compare it with the stuff you already have, or how
> >much gain it will provide you in the future.
> >People who are often dissappointed about something that has or has’nt
> >happened (past), are between-time people, it takes comparison and
> >knowledge to be disappointed!
> >The same for fobics. You have to know what you’re afraid of and
> >recognize it, that takes anticipation as well as comparison with past
> >events and reactions!
>
> >When Bandler talks about through-time activities he points out that
> >these are activities (passive or active) that are constantly there,
> >like you’re attitude. Although it may vary or fluctuate, it’s always
> >there. Or when you’re constantly reviewing and evaluating what it is
> >you have done. It’s good for setting direction and noticing
> >differences. Relationships you have chosen for a period of time (so
> >not your parents) is or should be a through-time thing.
> >Chronic depression is another example
>
> >It’s clear that people use different decision-strategies concerning
> >different activities. But there are also people who only have one
> >strategy for all three kinds of time-activities, that could lead to
> >serious problems! I mean it could be very limiting if someone makes
> >the same mistakes over and over, but can’t see themselves doing that
> >because they’re in-time and present-oriented at these occassions, and
> >not reflecting on the possible consequences. So they repeat the same
> >(damaging) behaviour time after time. Sometimes it’s really usefull to
> >see your future right in front of you, staring!
> >Other times it’s better not to anticipate too much, because the more
> >you think consciously about an upcoming or ongoing activity (like
> >giving a speech etc...), the more you make up things that aren’t even
> >(going to be) there, you know the "yes, but what if......." - way of
> >thinking. Unless you only focus on all the good things that might
> >happen!
> >
> >Obviously, it’s very usefull to notice these strategies in people so
> >you can utilize it when needed. At the right time and place as well as
> >in the right situations!
>
> >These in-, between- and through-time distinctions in activities in
> >relation to decision-strategies, I only saw and heared mentioned on
> >this Bandler-tape. It could be that this subdivision has emerged into
> >the concept of "timelines" I read and hear so much about, but I don’t
> >know this for sure. So If someone knows more about this or read a book
> >in which this is handled, please let me know. Especially the
> >difference between between- and through-time, I would like to learn
> >more about
>
> >Thanks in advance,
>
> >Lidy Oosterhof
>
>
>
>
>
> Hi Lidy,
>
>
> I wonder of this is what you mean?
>
>
> A few weeks ago, I was sitting by a friend and as always I ask a lot of
strange questions
>
> the first one was: tell me "how do you look at your future?"
>
> and "how much money will you earn
let's say between now
> and three months"
>
> and "do you like to have children in
your future"
>
> By each question he looked at me, and said " I can only look till today"
> So for me that was........ oke....till he said " but I like to look more
forward"
> and then I thought >>>>>>>>> let's play <<<<<<<<<<<<<<
> So I said to him, HOW old would you like to be in the future??
> He said..... hmmmm ......... 170 years.
> I said OKE ......try to imagine (close your eyes NOW) that you are.....
like 80 years
> and I saw he did.... and he did well. He saw himself and the surrounding
of that place etc.
> It's a big step from living IN one day to see you when you are 80.
> But he did fine.
> Then I asked him " how many children do YOU LIKE TO HAVE" and he said
> again "I can only see one day". And I said sure you can only see one day
so that's
> why I like to speak with him, (and I looked to his forhead) I prefer to
speak with
> your unconscious, so let your conscious go to the fanfare and have a good
time over
> there ( there are a lot of nice things to do outhere ) and he said ok.
Can I speak to your
> unconscious NOW, he shaked his head... up and down...for me that
is......yes
> So I asked him do you like to have children in the future, and it
said..... yes...... three.
> And (only) one tear came over his cheek............
> So it went dame good and I thought >>>>let's play more <<<<<<,,
> How much money would you like to earn more.... in let's say three months
from now.
> His eyes went up and he said 300,- dutch gilder....... that' like $187
>
> By now, .......four month's later....he earns almost 300,- more than
before!
> he went on holiday for the fist time in 8 years.....alone!
> he went to the hairdresser to cut his hair......since many years!
> etc.
>
> I often notice that a lot of people don't look forwards and when you
learn them
> they start to like it. And often they say.....hmm...... I like
it........let's play
> more.......
> and more.
>
> Perhaps that is what you mean with your article and the timelines we all
> have?
> So think about something you liked very mutch....something from the
past.....something
> you like very mutch....perhaps you can find something better....that's
right.............
> ....anchor it...and then..... look in your future ( to some place you
like )..... and anchor
> at the precise way...... you........ just did..... and feel how it
feels......perhaps you
> can... try it again with more feeling
..............................that's right.
>
>
> For me I don't believe that you can say one is in time or between
time....all the time.
> Most people just don't know........ HOW.....but when you learn this to
them often
> they become very excited. And I often notice that they like to be in your
surrounding
> just because they think you can give them a good feeling and they are
right......
> YOU KNOW !!!
>
>
>
> Stay Well and Relax
>
> Jan Willem Nicolay
> The Netherlands
>